Thursday, January 29, 2004 

Please....no more snow days....NO MORE SNOW DAYS!!!

Posted by Rachel at 5:23 PM |

Monday, January 26, 2004 

Last night my grandparents came over in light of my recent birthday. My grandpa was asking my dad about Jeremy, then the conversation shifted to me. I don't think they knew I was in the room (I was sitting in my new chair behind the couch). My grandpa asked him when I was going to get my license. My dad started telling him how I have trouble paying attention to lights, signs, etc. (whatever). But then he was saying how I can drive down the road perfectly, and I can get to town just fine...my grandpa told him to get me my license. My dad said...something (I can't remember) and my grandpa told him to "get her her license and let her go! You can't keep running her life!..."

Then they started talking about my car - the windshield is cracked, so my dad doesn't know if they'd let me take the test in it. My grandpa said he could take care of that. But then my dad said that he could, too; that it wasn't a big deal.

What does this mean? I don't know. Maybe nothing. But I was thinking about this the other day. Maybe it's part of the reason I feel like I'm stuck in a rut all the time.

Posted by Rachel at 2:10 PM |

 

I'm trying to be productive, but it seems that all the projects I start as of late result in frusteration. Therefore, I lose interest. But I hate not being productive. It makes me feel like I have no purpose.

I'm usually one to try and resolve the situation, rather than complain, but I've run out of ideas.

I'm sick of cleaning my room.
I'm sick of trying to find a prom dress.
I'm sick of coming to school every day.
I'm sick of sitting home the days I don't have school.
I'm sick of my journal.
I'm sick of my other projects.
Heck, I'm even sick of the internet.
I'm sick of trying to find something to dooooooooo....


To be perfectly honest, I despise my pointless existance.

Posted by Rachel at 2:03 PM |

Thursday, January 22, 2004 

Weird...I'm 18 now.

So...how 'bout the new setup?

Posted by Rachel at 2:02 PM |

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 

So Canada is making a "bold" new $5 coin to circulate. And know who they're putting on it? "National hero and star of film and television" William Shatner. Yep, that's right, William Shatner. Ah, Canada.....

Posted by Rachel at 10:42 AM |

Tuesday, January 20, 2004 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

No more jailbait - I'm legal now. You know what that means.....who's gonna buy me my first lotto ticket?? ;)

Posted by Rachel at 9:39 AM |

Monday, January 19, 2004 

Good news: Haloscan is hosting the old BlogSpeak stuff, so I have my old comments back.

Bad news: When I put the new codes in, I lost the comments you guys (or just Kurtis and Jeffy) left in the in-between time.

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: I am going to write about my party.

Around 11:30am or so on Saturday, Kurtis came over with the cake (made himself!) and some chips. He told me he'd be there around then but I figured he'd be late (as per usual); therefore I got up around 10 and hadn't had a shower by the time he came. So he had to sit and watch "Spirit: The Stallion of Cimmaron" (courtesy of the little sister) while I got ready for the day.

A few hours later (no, it didn't take me a few hours to get ready; we were just too lazy to go earlier) we went into town and got ice cream, pop, etc. then stopped off at the video store for "Billy Madison" (which I'd never seen - Kurtis recommended it); "The Pest" (great party movie); and "Empire Records" (which I'd also never seen).

Nacho was the first person there, surprisingly; even more surprising was the fact that he was 15 minutes early (he's never early for anything!). So he and Kurtis and I sat down for a friendly game of Clue, only to be distracted by the arrival of Urbain, Ren, Dippy, Jeffy, and Chris. Well, I was distracted anyway. Nacho was apparently paying enough attention to win the game (Plum! Pipe! Kitchen!....or was it?).

Over the course of the next couple hours, we sat around, listened to music, spilled pop, dropped food on the carpet, and played air hockey. Finally everyone who was coming was there (Pottsy showed next, then Luke, Cherie, Anna, and Dan, bringing the total number of guests to 12). Once everyone was there, we ate, drank, and were merry. And we watched the first movie.

When it was over we stopped for cake and ice cream; I don't think I've ever had that many people sing "Happy Birthday" to me all at once. It was cool.

And then we partied on.

The end.

Posted by Rachel at 1:25 PM |

Saturday, January 17, 2004 

Woo! Party tomorr - today!!!!

Lol for the record, since there seems to be some confusion, my birthday isn't until Tuesday, the 20th. But I'm having my party early, Anna and Jeffy style.

Posted by Rachel at 2:27 AM |

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 

Hee hee. Paris Hilton was at the top of the Worst-Dressed list. But I guess you can't blame her, she's not used to wearing clothes. She hasn't got the hang of it yet.

Okay, okay. I don't actually hate Paris Hilton. But she is an easy target.

Posted by Rachel at 10:27 AM |

 

The Blogspeak server is down, so I had no comments link for awhile....the site says they don't know when or if they'll be back but if they do, everything was backed up.....so I saved their codes elsewhere and put HaloScan in my template. I now have a comments link again. I guess we'll see what happens.

Also, after days and days and days of stressing over it, I finally finished and submitted my application to Oberlin College. What a relief.

Posted by Rachel at 9:30 AM |

Friday, January 09, 2004 

I think I'd like to get away somewhere. Alone, by myself. Because I already know what to expect of myself so I won't be disappointed.

I feel a hiatus coming on again. Thank you and good night.

Posted by Rachel at 1:09 PM |

 

In light of the current phase I'm in, I would like to compose a list of things that annoy me. I'm sure some of these things must annoy other people also....Feel free to add some. I'm sure I won't think of everything.

-Jocks, and guys that are cocky
-Britney Spears
-Avril Lavigne
-rap songs that proclaim how "pimpin'"/tough/bad/"bling blingin'" the artist is
-Sweetest Day
-Netscape
-the phrase "cool beans"

I've run out of energy to continue.

Posted by Rachel at 10:47 AM |

Thursday, January 08, 2004 

My life seems to pass in phases. Some short, some longer than others. Some overlap, some have nothing to do with one another. Each one is characterized by the general feeling I get, the environment, the people I spent the most time with, the things I concentrated on, the music I listen to at the time. Most times I don't realize when a phase in my life is over until I've entered a new phase and am looking back on the old one. Like the phase of my life when my brother first left my dad's. The phase in my life when Kurtis and I started going out. The phase of too much school work. The phase of Christmas break.

I'm waiting for this phase to pass. I'm ready for the next one. It's not that I'm depressed, just frusterated with the things I can't change, the things I seem to have no control over. I want the phase where I find the answers to all of the questions I've posed to myself lately.

I'm an impatient person. I've never been a fan of waiting. "Good things come to those who wait," right? I'm not a person who waits, I'm a person who takes action (though I do have a tendency to procrastinate). Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any action that I can take at the moment. And I think my impatience is starting to show through.

Just thinking aloud, here. Trying to figure out this mess that is me.

Posted by Rachel at 10:41 AM |

Tuesday, January 06, 2004 

I hate this time of the year. I truly do. The stretch of time between New Year's Day and the middle of March or so is the worst. If not for my birthday, I think I would despise January almost as much as I do February. My least favorite month of the year, February is.

I woke up this morning dreading school and truly hoping for a snow day. There's nothing to look forward to here. I don't think this is just your typical case of "senioritis" - I'm not slacking off or anything.

Then I got to thinking about college. And for the first time, going 6 hours or so away from my home, away from my family and friends and Kurtis, actually scared me. Scared me enough to rethink going to a college here in MI. I think I will apply to one here, just because Oberlin is so expensive. My dad mentioned to me last night that the financial situation could prevent me from going. If I were to go to Oberlin for a full 4 years, it would cost nearly $140,000. Tuition itself is almost $30,000 a year.

And to think, I wanted to run off to New York. I still might, someday. But not right now.

And in other news, for some inexplicable reason, I feel like shit. And it frusterates me because I hate feeling a certan way without knowing why. I feel the urge to rant and whine about how my life has no purpose and why am I even living and I'm a waste of space and blah blah blah. But I'll stow it for some other day.

Blame it on the wintertime blues. Or something. But I know something's up when I'm not even looking forward to drama anymore. I used to love drama. LOVE it. Now...eh.

Posted by Rachel at 2:01 PM |

 

The red is a bit standoffish, isn't it? Much brighter than I'm used to.

Posted by Rachel at 1:37 PM |

Monday, January 05, 2004 

All right, everyone, I'm working on planning a party here, in honor of the birthday of Yours Truly....yep, in 15 days, I'll be turning 18. I'm tentatively planning a party for Saturday, January 17. The main setback is, are all of you willing to drive/find a ride to my mom's house, which is about 20-25 minutes out of town? I demand that you do! So cancel plans, call in sick to work, and go make me a birthday card! (No presents.)

I'm thinking, in Jeffy's style, a 6-to-midnight timeframe.

So who wants to come?

Posted by Rachel at 10:40 AM |