Monday, January 31, 2005 

note to self

note to self

not every story has to be about love, you know.

Posted by Rachel at 2:33 PM |

 

Recently this idea planted itself into my brain that I might like to take a semester off from school.

Crazy, isn't it? ME, take a semester off? I'm seriously thinking about looking into it though. I just wonder if my scholarship and/or MEAP money would be affected. Cuz I could use that semester to work, to get caught up on my student loan and get a little money saved up. Not to mention, I have no idea what I want to major in, so I'm basically just spinning my tires in the mud, so to speak. Not really going in any set direction.

Plus I've been going to school from the end of August til the beginning of June for the past....15 years (I went to preschool twice - the second time I believe because I was still too young for kindergarten) and I can't remember what it's like to not have homework waiting for me at the end of the day.

Where would I go to find out about this? The registrar, or financial aid? Maybe both? Hm...*ponders*

Posted by Rachel at 1:36 PM |

Saturday, January 29, 2005 

So...Which is it?

"Love is all you need"?

or:

"Sometimes love just ain't enough"?

Posted by Rachel at 10:23 PM |

Friday, January 28, 2005 

roommate rant

I take pride in the fact that I can get along with just about anyone I meet.

Then God sent me a new challenge: my roommate.
Of course, I guess it could be said that there is a world of difference between getting along with someone and having to live with them.

My roommate watches a lot of TV. Too much TV. You can pretty much bet that if she's here, it's on.
I'm a radio person. I find television menial and distracting.
(menial: adj. a fancy word to make me sound smart).

She's messy enough to make me look neat (I'm not messy, just lazy. There's a certain point where my desire for cleanliness overcomes my chronic laziness and I pick stuff up. Her level of tolerance for mess is significantly higher than mine - though I must give her some credit, she does the dishes most of the time). She cooks stuff in the microwave, things that splatter or blow up inside, and just leaves it. Lets it dry and stick to the walls and on the tray in there, so when I go to cook my morning PopTarts, Hello weekend-old tomato sauce. Nobody, myself included, wants a Cinnamon/brown sugar Pop-Tart tainted with a hint of tomato.

She has a way of allowing her possessions to spill all over every horizontal surface and on to my side of the room - her collection of clothes, school books, scraps of paper, remnants of art projects, and bits of unidentifiable stuff that require a vaccuum to pick up, all strewn about. I've come home early a weekend or two to discover that the majority of the carpet is not visible during the worst of her rampages. Again, I must give her some credit, she picks up the majority of it not long after my arrival. But I haven't been able to use my rightful half of the table in months - I've pretty much given up on that privelige.

She also loves to talk, while I'm a person who enjoys my solitude.
She especially likes to talk while I'm attempting my homework or writing in my journal.

She insults/aggravates my friends, to the point where none of them particularly care for her. (shut up, Jeff.)



Okay, so what?

I can handle these things. I've somehow acquired much more patience for certain situations than I ever thought I'd possess.

But this isn't the worst of it, oh no.

She also likes to talk to me when I'm on the phone. Talk loudly. Especially when I'm on the phone. If I don't pay attention to her, she'll throw little candies at me, or start messing with my stuff, or stand rightnexttome, or push buttons on the phone (before I got a brain and bought a cell phone. Now she has to be more creative in her torment). She has no respect for me, or for the person on the other end of the line, for that matter (which is most often Dan, though not always. I'd say his contempt for her is especially justifiable, however). That is the part that pisses me off the most (well, plus the fact that she only wants my attention AFTER I start talking to someone else). I let her have her phone conversations without starting shit, why can't she do the same for me?

The first time or two I could handle it. But when it becomes a routine, it starts to tax even my patience. I've tried to tell her nicely. I've tried (successfully) to make her feel guilty about it a time or two. I've yelled at her even, and told her she was pissing me off. To no avail, however. Tonight I was forced to retreat to the hallway for some peace. I heard her lock the door behind me once I left, but I'm no fool - I grabbed my keys on my way out.

If it doesn't seem like a big deal, try this: attempt a meaningful conversation with someone important to you over the phone, only able to listen with one ear, while someone who annoys you is talking in your other ear loud enough to drown out your thoughts and the voice of the person you care about.

I could look on the bright side. At least I don't have a roommate that brings home guys and sleeps with them every other night.

Y'know, I'd almost rather have that roommate. At least then she'd leave me alone.

Posted by Rachel at 1:32 AM |

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 

just trying to figure out what's going on in here...

Does anyone ever wonder what goes on inside my head? I know I do, and I'm the one in here with me.

Gah, memories. Evil, wonderful, powerful things. A picture. A scent. A song. Not even the whole song - a line of lyrics. A measure of notes. Tying you to your past, pulling you back to a time left behind, no matter how far forward you think you've gone. Or want to go. How do you cut the ties and let them go?

Is it really so bad to be tied to your past? It's who you are, after all....




So what do you do when there's a hole and you don't know how to fill it?

Posted by Rachel at 11:35 PM |

Monday, January 24, 2005 

"What are you gonna do today, Napolean?"

"What are you gonna do today, Napolean?"

My birthday started off (and ended as) a pretty decent day. I was enlightened while doing some sketches in drawing class first thing in the morning (it's an art thing, lol) and French class was once again entirely review for me (from the exercises online, it appears that my review goes up through chapter 5 - we're on chapter 3). We also listened to some fun French music and I made a new friend.

After class I bolted out of Saginaw ASAP, destination Dan's house. My mom baked me a carrot cake, so the two of us ventured off to eat some of it. Between my mom and my grandparents, I was given $70 in birthday money (nice). Just after eating cake, I received a phone call informing me - well, commanding me - to join Jeff, Josh, and some others on a trip to the Red Eye.

After half of a Sexual Chocolate and an interesting sketch of Jeff (plus a profound conversation with a black man on ecstacy about Jesus and business) someone decided that we should take a road trip. To make a long story short, Joe, Jeff, Josh, and I ended up at Soaring Eagle Casino approximately 15 minutes before midnight. A lovely surprise ending to my birthday - my first trip to the casino (a year late). I lost $10.75 to the joys of the slot machine, but not without winning a few small victories on the nickel and quarter machines (I spent $14 total and won back $3.25, hehe). So many bright lights and falling coins...

I stumbled onto Dan's doorstep to unlock the door by light of Josh's headlights at about 2:30am, only to be greeted by two adorable little stray cats. I was so tempted to bring one in with me, but I didn't know how thrilled Dan would've been (he said later that he wouldn't have cared). However, after petting the solid grey one, I resisted the urge, bid the kitties goodnight, and went on in to a nice warm waterbed. Had to get my rest for the party the next day...wooo!

Posted by Rachel at 11:56 PM |

Thursday, January 20, 2005 

tentative plans for Friday, v.3

Since the mall's only open til 9, I figured it'd be better to eat afterward. We don't know where yet, probably somewhere in Midland (Big Boy, anyone? Nowhere too expensive, I know we're all on a tight budget).

So it goes like this: Meet at Dan's house, 7pm. Go to the Midland Mall. Eat somewhere, then head back to Ryan's (who has so graciously offered his house for us) to watch a movie. I'll buy chips etc. and maybe there'll be cake (wooo!).

So far I know that Anna is coming for sure, as is Dan (obviously). Also I believe Ryan, Jeff, Dippy, Brandon, Matt, and Aubrey.

Maybes are out there for Alex and Josh.

Am I forgetting anything/anyone?

Oh yeah. ME. I'll be there. :P

Happy Birthday to me....

Posted by Rachel at 1:07 AM |

Monday, January 17, 2005 

UPDATE: So far I have 2 votes for a Friday gathering, because Brandon is hoping to have a get-together Saturday since his parents are going out of town. Suggestions on what to do include going to the mall or going to the arcade in Owosso. So far I like the mall idea better, but I'd rather go to Midland than Fashion Square, just cuz it'd be somewhere different. That just means we'd have to get a couple people willing to drive to Midland.

Anyway, for dinner, Dan suggested Panda House. We'd have to make reservations, but his mom works there and would probably give us some sort of discount. And who doesn't like Chinese food?

Posted by Rachel at 3:28 PM |

Sunday, January 16, 2005 

birthday

It doesn't look like I'll be having a party for my birthday. At least, not exactly. I don't really have a feasible location available.

However, at work this morning I got a different idea. Maybe there's a group of people out there who love me enough to get together and do something -- to go out somewhere in honor of the 19th birthday of Yours Truly (which is Thursday the 20th, for the record - a mere 4 days away). I was talking to Dan about it and he suggested that we do some kind of formal thing -- everybody dress up fancy (I've got a favorite old prom dress I wouldn't mind wearing again - minus the uncomfortable dress shoes - and I know that at least Jeff has a suit laying around, ready to go).

There are a few details to work out - where to go, and which day it should be: Friday the 21 or Saturday the 22. Suggestions would be appreciated; I'd like to avoid the traditional trip-to-the-movie-theatre if we can think of something a bit more creative. I'll be pondering it myself over the next day or two. And anyone who wants to be a part of this shenanigan is invited - large groups of people can be fun. So lemme know what you all think.

Posted by Rachel at 8:46 PM |

Thursday, January 13, 2005 

Sometimes I write crappy posts. You'll have to forgive me.

In other news, I absolutely love my creative writing class. Maybe I'll post some of the stuff I write in there on here, if the mood strikes me.

Posted by Rachel at 3:09 PM |

 

"My World" drawing

I have to do an art project - more specifically, a drawing - to be entitled, "this is my world." And when the teacher assigned the drawing, I was excited; I thought it was something I could do and have fun with. But now I'm just stumped. What can I draw to represent my world? People are out, because people are too hard to draw. I don't want to do anything too cliche (like an actual world, or my boyfriend, for example), because cliches generally annoy me. But most of all I want it to be a drawing I like, and would hang on my wall, as opposed to the ridiculous art assignments I did in high school then stuffed behind my dresser.

I'm stuck. And weary. Maybe I'll just draw a pair of shoes.

Posted by Rachel at 1:20 AM |

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 

a wise man

A wise man once told me, "When you want to get away and go somewhere new and exciting all the time, you really just want to change yourself. Cuz when you get to the new place, it'll be exciting and different at first, but after awhile it'll get old and you'll just want to go somewhere new again."

Okay, it was Eric Bowler who told me that. But if you really think about it, he's right. I contemplated that one for quite awhile.

Posted by Rachel at 8:10 PM |

 

How cool is this: my third journal assignment for English:

3. Eavesdrop! Write down five lines that you have overheard in the past week.

Hehehehe..."If it weren't for my horse..."

Posted by Rachel at 8:04 PM |

 

home

Not even two class sessions into the semester, my creative writing teacher has me stumped with a journal assignment:

2. What place would you claim as a place where you feel most at home? Fully describe this place.

Now, I'd have no trouble at all completing the second part of this question if it weren't for the difficulty I'm having answering the first part. Call me melodramatic if you must, but I don't particularly feel "most at home" anywhere. To me, "home" is a place you want to return to at the end of the day, a place to relax, get "rooted in," to be yourself entirely. A place where you have a past and are building a future. Most importantly, a place where you belong. Maybe it's that always-ready-to-run part of me kicking in, but I can't say I feel like I belong any one particular place moreso than all of the other places I've found myself laying down to sleep at night. My dorm is only a temporary arrangement. After April, I'll be back out on the street. Granted, my mother and father both always welcome me into their homes. But that's the thing. They're their homes. Dan welcomed me into his home, shared his room with me for almost a month, during winter break, and I'm there a lot on other occasions. But in the end it's still his (and his parents') and I have no claim to it.

In short, I have no idea what to say in response to the first part of that question.

Posted by Rachel at 7:17 PM |

 

hats

You know what's a cool fashion accessory? A hat.

I wish I could find a hat that looked good on me. Preferably a fedora. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have the facial structure to make a fedora look flattering. I don't seem to have the facial structure to make any of the hats I've tried on look flattering. Even berets and cowboy hats are lost on me - though I probably wouldn't walk around in a cowboy hat even if I did look good in one. I tried on a white fedora once that didn't look all that bad; on the flipside, it didn't look all that good, either. Honestly though, there are some people who can make almost any hat look stylish. If you're one of those people, I envy you.

Now, I look pretty good in a top hat, I must admit. But a real top hat (as opposed to a flimsy costume hat) is damn expensive. Not to mention, how conventional is it for a girl to walk around in a top hat?

Posted by Rachel at 6:28 PM |

Monday, January 10, 2005 

Napolean Dynamite

I find it slightly interesting how Napolean Dynamite has suddenly gained so much popularity now that it's out on video. I've seen more Napolean Dynamite shirts at Hot Topic (trend capital of the world) lately and have overheard other employees talking about it at work on at least 2 separate occasions; just today one of the guys I work with was saying how he wants to learn the dance Napolean does toward the end of the movie.

:P Way to jump on the bandwagon, kids. I saw it first!! Before it was cool!

Seriously though. Do we know how to pick 'em, or what? If I don't get a copy of Napolean Dynamite for my very own on my birthday, I'll be disappointed...

Posted by Rachel at 9:54 PM |

 

First day of class, now officially over. I'm actually pretty excited about my piano class. I'm quite looking forward to the things we're going to cover. And the professor told us that there are two practice rooms that have smaller grand pianos in them, and that we can use them if the doors are unlocked. I'd love to play on a grand piano.

I'm thinking that I may have to drop my sociology class. Because for one, it's virtually impossible to get from the fine arts hall on one side of campus to the education center on the other side in a mere 10 minutes, which is the time span I have between classes. Not to mention, after sociology I have another 10 minutes to get to the other side of campus again for a 1pm creative writing class.

If I do drop sociology, I'll be down to 14 credits, which means I'll still be at freshman standing next fall; however, this can be easily remedied by taking a spring class (if I really cared, anyway). I tried to find a different class to fill the time slot but there are none open.

Apparently too, the teacher I have for sociology is one of the lowest ranked on ratemyprofessor.com. And I'm not usually one to back away from a challenge, but all the work that the class would involve on top of all the creative writing and outside-of-classroom work I'm going to have to do for my other classes may prove a bit much.

Okay, maybe I'm being a teensy bit lazy. But I think I am going to drop the class.

My keyboard just randomly stopped working then started working again. What a computer. It also made a weird beeeeeping noise beforehand - the actual CPU itself, not through the speakers. I hope it doesn't decide to die on me.

Posted by Rachel at 2:59 PM |

Sunday, January 09, 2005 

What a weekend, I'll tell you what.

I only had to work Wednesday of this week; I had the rest of the week off. Thursday I hung out at my dad's -- not that anybody cares. Hm. What can I tell you that might interest you?

I really don't have much. I guess it's time to write stuff in my real journal. I moved back into my dorm tonight; as with the rest of the college kids, my classes start tomorrow. I've got Piano, Sociology, and Intro to Creative Writing tomorrow, then Intro to Drawing, French I, and a self-defense class on Tuesday. 17 credits in all.

Went to Brandon's birthday party last night in Midland with Dan and Matt. Sadly, there was no cake or ice cream. Just a case of Bud Light and a drinking game which resulted in me being the only sober one in the room. And it reminded me just why I don't drink. However, on the bright side, Dan made me bring my guitar to Brandon's "just in case," and I did end up practicing on it. I'm getting much better at "Stairway to Heaven" and I can play "The Sweater Song" quite well. I'm thinking next I'm going to try something more intricate, a melody that takes a bit more to memorize and play. I'll have to see what I can find.

Brandon taught me how to play "Happy Birthday," which I'll be able to play for myself in a mere 11 days. Dan is trying to get his family out of the house either Friday the 21 or Saturday the 22 so I can have a birthday party there. I'll let you know if he's successful...otherwise, I might have to try and convince you all to make the trip to my dorm, or else skip the party idea altogether. We shall see.

Posted by Rachel at 9:18 PM |

Thursday, January 06, 2005 

Well, damn. $500 on school books? You poor kids. I bought mine on eBay and amazon.com (well, some of them). I saved $10 so far on one of my english books, and it looks like I'll be saving about $60 on my French books. They're used, granted, but who cares? I'm only going to need them for 4 months, and I definitely don't have $500 lying around for books, textbooks or whatever they may be. I may not be able to take them into the school bookstore for buyback, but buyback doesn't give you much anyway. The money I save will probably be more than I'd have gotten from Buyback. Plus I could just turn around and resell them on eBay.

I'm smart. S-M-R-T.

In other news, I feel like I'm being avoided. Jeff is next to impossible to get ahold of and I don't know where the rest of you are, either. Dan's probably getting a little sick of me hanging around all the time, so if anyone else wants to hang out, like this weekend or something...I want to build a snowman. But I'm open to other suggestions.

Anyone? Anyone at all? 205-7418.

Posted by Rachel at 3:23 PM |

Tuesday, January 04, 2005 

Mua ha ha, I have seen The Tape.

Not that it was anything much. Just a bunch of drunk college kids having a New Year's Eve party.

Or was it?...

Posted by Rachel at 8:46 PM |

Monday, January 03, 2005 

1. Happy Birthday, Jeffy!

2. I've started writing in my real journal again. Actually, I started a new one. I think it's good for me -- actually, I know it is -- so hopefully I can keep it up.

3. My cell phone worked for about 10 minutes today. Then it stopped again. "Platinum Plus" is definitely getting a visit from me tomorrow. Though I'm very grateful that it worked when it did today -- when I saw that it worked, I called my mom -- not for any real reason, really -- but it turned out to be a very good idea. She had quite a day, to say the least...a bad day...

4. It sounds like my New Year's Eve was significantly less eventful than everyone else's; I must say, this was probably a good thing. I left Jeff's before midnight and therefore missed all the excitement - which I suppose I am the teeniest bit sorry about - however, I'm glad to have missed all the vomiting, and seeing Anna shirtless is nothing new to me ;). Instead, I was at Matt's with Dan, Aubrey, Brandon, and his girlfriend.

5. I've been rather lazy this weekend. I didn't get out of bed before noon either day and wasn't productive either. But it was nice.

Posted by Rachel at 1:13 AM |

Saturday, January 01, 2005 

Dan is making me breakfast. :)

Posted by Rachel at 3:06 PM |

 

New Phone

Happy freakin' New Year. Or something.

I went and got a cell phone yesterday. So far it's done not much else besides piss me off. I was supposed to get service about an hour after I walked out of the store with it. No such luck. So I called the store, then ended up going back out to the dealer, in order to get it to work. The phone came on, said I had service, blah blah blah. Then it told me I needed to call Nextel from a landline to verify my account or some crap. To finish setting up the activation. Sure, fine, great. Well, I did so at Jeff's, and the guy I talked to told me it should be all set. But when I turned it on afterward, all it said was, "No Service." It did this all damn night. And today it would work for approximately 2 minutes, until I tried to call someone or they tried to call me (Dan and I were testing it). I find it extremely irritating, seeing as I just put $300 into this thing.

Anyway, if it ever does get to working (I plan on calling to complain today), I'll be easier to get ahold of (in theory, anyway). The number is 989-205-7418. Remember it, write it down, program it into your phones. Who knows, you may actually be able to use it one day. (By the way, my voicemail does work, I just can't check it yet).

Posted by Rachel at 2:55 PM |