Saturday, March 28, 2009 

Wednesday I took the day off from work (not that I necessarily could afford to, but I've got almost two weeks of paid time off saved up) so that Jon and I could go to Owosso. I've been talking up the record store there for months, and I figured it'd be a good opportunity for him to meet that half of the family (especially since I met his parents before we were even official). So he met my grandparents for about 3.5 minutes, and we saw my mom's new house (because she's been bugging me about that for weeks now). On our way back up through Owosso, we stopped at Jer and Sonya's place to say hi. My mother and my grandma both implored me to "come and spend a day" with them (that's kind of our thing - I drive out there [or, on rare occasions, they drive up here] and we spend the day shopping, etc.) and Jer/Sonya informed us of Jonah's first birthday party on April 5th...

And since Jake and I broke up, I've been indefinitely (and understandably) banned from "Mythbuster's night" over at Caleb and Elaine's. But they still invite me over about once a week and cook dinner, and Elaine and I bead jewelry or crochet (I have a blanket that I've been working on since high school finally near completion) and we watch TV. Actually, the week Jon was in Florida, they invited me over a couple more times - we spent a day shopping downtown and in Bay City, and they had a game night Friday night with a group of their other friends. The game night especially was a lot of fun - there were something like eight of us playing Scattergories (for the first time ever, in my case) and I felt a lot less "out of place" among their friends than I used to.

And now that Anna and Kelly are both back in town I get to see more of them too. A couple Mondays ago when it was particularly nice out, Kelly and I went rollerblading out on the trail that starts on Ojibwa Island... Neither one of us has rollerbladed in recent history, so I imagine it was fairly comical for passersby (luckily there weren't many). We went and got ice cream at Fuzzy's afterward - hopefully something that will become another weekly tradition once it starts to stay warm. Anna's been working like crazy at the greenhouse, but last Sunday Chuck decided to ride his motorcycle up to Bay City and stopped to pick her up on his way through, so the two of them met Jon and I at the Texan then rode out to the Red Eye to warm up for awhile (the day was a little more brisk than anticipated, I think).

And even Jeff has resurfaced! Anna and I randomly stopped at his house the other day, and he was actually there. We hung out with him and Bentley (his new dog) til he had to leave for work. Then a couple Fridays ago, he and Anna met up with Jon and me at the Red Eye again.

The point is, I guess I never really considered just how much of a "network" of people I have in/around Saginaw. It's going to be weird leaving them (or at least putting distance between myself and them) when I do finally move. Makes it a little easier to understand, I guess, why people sometimes stay in one place their whole lives. Not that that's something I want to do. But I never used to consider fully the effect that not knowing anyone might have on my experience living in a new city. Another challenge to overcome, I guess. Lol in the meantime, I'm pretty good at living in my own little world, for awhile, anyway.

Posted by Rachel at 9:49 AM |

Thursday, March 26, 2009 

I really want to write something but I'm feeling completely uninspired. Maybe it's time to start sitting downtown again - though now that I think about it, nothing brilliant ever really came to me while I was there. At least, not that I can recall.

I started making a playlist Tuesday of music that inspires me to write. I think right now it's got like 90 songs on it, though I've still got some weeding out to do. Ratatat comprises much of the list; two of the poems I've written (both of which Cardinal Sins published) were inspired in part by them. I'm hoping once I get that set I can put it on a CD or my mp3 player and start making some progress.

Speaking of which, if anyone has some new and cool music they'd like to share with me (preferably not pop or country) feel free to do so.

Also, the official search for a roommate has now begun, because I've just declared it so. I can probably swing April by myself but I really don't want to keep affording it all after that. The goal is to start saving money, not to continue living paycheck to paycheck. The only problem is that I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here myself. Luckily there's no lease involved, even for someone new moving in. Hm. I just wish I knew what was going to happen within the next couple months. At least part of that requires figuring out what I want to do, and I can be pretty bad at that.

Posted by Rachel at 4:40 PM |

Monday, March 23, 2009 

I just made dinner - first time I've actually cooked something on the stove in weeks - and now I'm waiting for Jon to get here so we can eat. It's nothing spectacular, just some Manwich sloppy joes and some macaroni and cheese. High School Musical mac and cheese, because for some reason it's cheaper than the normal Kraft stuff. Whatever ridiculous cold I've had for the last two weeks (two weeks! My colds usually only last three days) finally seems to be subsiding, which means I'm actually starting to get a little energy back.

I worked 10-7 today. I usually hate mid shifts and today was no real exception, though it went by fairly steadily. It usually does when I resign myself to having my whole day wasted. They changed a few things around with my position, and I don't really think it's for the better, at least not in terms of my enjoyment of my job. For one, they finally gave the girl who's supposed to be in charge of the signage her keys and alarm code, which means they're taking me off of Friday signage. Granted, this was supposed to happen months ago, but it was kinda fun (is fun the right word?) to be in charge of something. Then the other day they decided to switch me, formerly in charge of the women's department, with the girl who was in charge of men's and kids' departments. Which means I now get to work in women's about 0% of the time, instead of the 99% I was before. Plus business is slow, which means there's not a lot to do in any of the departments...

At least I'm still mostly getting my 30 hours.

Posted by Rachel at 7:56 PM |

Saturday, March 21, 2009 

I have a new goal, and that is to blog more. Ha, that sounds goofy. No, really though, I need to write more. Here's a good place to start.

I've started looking at creative writing Master's programs here in MI, and so far Eastern has the coolest-sounding program. But I really need to get my crap together if I'm going to go to school again for more writing (especially since this time I'll have to pay for at least part of it). This means, again, writing more. Building a portfolio. Getting it ready for other people to read.

I've been having a few feelings of inadequacy creeping up on me lately. I really feel like I could be doing bigger and better things than I am... but the question is, what? I got a degree in creative writing, but what do I really expect to do with it if I'm not going to eventually teach? Teaching is not something I want to do. Don't get me wrong, I have an immense respect for teachers, and there were a certain few that I've had that I won't forget anytime soon. But it's just not something I'm interested in doing. So... what? I've always had this deep-rooted desire to do something significant with my life, but at this point I don't really see what that could be, unless some opportunity comes completely out of left field (as these things tend to do).

Maybe I'm just lacking some confidence in my writing abilities, but I'm trying to maintain a realistic outlook: it's going to be next to impossible to make a living writing. I should take this as a challenge, rather than accepting defeat. But... that's kinda hard. Every acceptance into Cardinal Sins boosts my confidence a little more (two pieces in the next issue, woo!) but that doesn't mean I'm ready for the big time. It is encouraging to see how I've improved since my intro creative writing class back in '05, but I've got a long way to go. So I guess I'm starting here.

Posted by Rachel at 10:56 AM |