Saturday, May 29, 2004 

I feel like such a loser.

Sure, I've got my license now, but no car and only $11 in my wallet. It's Saturday night and I'm going to be home alone - even my mom has a date. I wish I could go out skating or shopping, or hang out with someone or....I don't know. It's sort of depressing.

I hope I meet a ton of new people in college who always want to do fun things so that I never have to sit home again when I want to go out.

Posted by Rachel at 4:44 PM |

 

I can't wait until summer. I mean the real summer, after graduation and everything. When it's always at least 70ยบ and everyone's done with school and the fairs come to town. I especially can't wait for the fairs. I love all the smells, and the atmosphere right when it's starting to get dark and they turn all the lights on. Dusk in the summertime is my favorite time of day. I want to waste the money I don't have to play games (like the clown feet) and win useless-yet-amusing prizes. I want to eat the food that's so unhealthy yet so good (especially the elephant ears). And I want to ride the ferris wheel and see the view of the whole fairground from the top.

The play is over, the class trip to Cedar Point is over, and senior sendoff is over. I have yet to cry but then again, I've never been very emotional during things like this. Sure, I'll miss high school - there were some good times, good memories. But like I've said before, if these really are the best years of my life, I'll be very disappointed.

Graduation on Thursday night, then it really is all over. At the moment I'm neither dreading nor looking forward to the ceremony. Just waiting for "real summer."

Posted by Rachel at 12:01 AM |

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 

Ah, where to start. So much has been happening in the last week that I could probably write pages and pages if I tried. But I'll (attempt to) give you the shortened version.

Last Tuesday I woke up feeling much worse so I went back to the doctor. He gave me better medication and sent me to the hospital for blood tests. Wednesday I was feeling a bit better so I decided to try going to school. Not a good idea. I got so miserable that I left after 4th hour. I went to Kurtis's to try and get some rest, but my throat hurt so bad that I didn't get much sleep. I was sore and feverish and had no energy at all.

I went to stay at my mom's that night and she'd gotten me all this stuff to help me feel better (ibuprofen, stuff for my throat, ice cream, etc.). I missed the NHS trip to Mackinaw Island Thursday and Beautification day on Friday. All the rest helped though and I was feeling well enough to do the play that night. And the next night and the next. Now my throat is completely better and the swollen gland on my neck has gone down quite a bit. Looks like there's hope for my unidentifiable disease after all.

Posted by Rachel at 12:52 PM |

Monday, May 17, 2004 

Things that make you go "hmmm..."

I came, I took the driver's test, I....well, I don't know that "conquered" would be the right word, but I did pass. Which means I finally get a driver's license. It's a little scary to think that now I'm allowed to legally drive on the roads alone, but nevertheless, I am. I don't have a car though. So I still have to depend on other people for rides. Which still makes me feel like a burden.

In other news, I seem to have contracted a strange and rare disease that resists all attempts made by antibiotics to cure it. This strange disease made the glands on only one side of my neck swell up like a ping pong ball. Yet both sides of my throat hurt now. All my antibiotics are gone (it was supposed to be some miracle 5-day treatment) and the 600mg of ibuprofen they prescribed to bring the swelling down seems to have no effect whatsoever except to MAKE ME FREAKIN' TIRED ALL THE TIME.

Which really makes no sense when you take into consideration my sleeping habits. I get really tired at night and sleep soundly til about, oh, 3 or 4am. I haven't peaceably slept past 8am in weeks.

I got nothin'. I can't think of anything else for you to waste your time reading about.

Posted by Rachel at 8:29 AM |

Thursday, May 13, 2004 

Links are back. Turns out she read my real journal (as in my written one - I apparently left it on the table while I was in the shower or something) rather than being clever enough to locate this one.

Whatever.

In all my dramatic rambling I forgot to write about prom. It was fun. I was proud of us for finding the Bavarian Inn with no directions other than one previous trip to Frankenmuth. Does that make sense?

Anyway, the Bavarian Inn was lovely, better than the Skyroom in my opinion (though I liked that too). I've heard mixed reviews on the food, but I personally was impressed that they brought us a shrimp cocktail as an appetizer. The rest of the food was pretty good too, though I would have liked something chocolate for dessert.

The music during dinner was good, but it went downhill once the actual dance started. Entirely bad hip-hop and country.

I did have fun though. Prom as a whole went by fast and was sort of uneventful (especially when compared to last year's waltzing lessons) but nevertheless it was a good last prom.

Afterparty was fun too. Pizza, free lemonade, strawberries, and bowling for play money. Kurtis and I won a gift card to TGI Friday's with our money in the auction at the end of the party. I love TGI Friday's.

Posted by Rachel at 1:11 PM |

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 

Yes, all the links are temporarily gone. I'm doing a bit of damage control, you might say, in case certain uninvited people are visiting (well, one in particular - it may only be paranoia at this point though). I don't need them going to your sites too. I may end up scrapping this site and starting a new one at a different address. I'll tell you all if I do.

Posted by Rachel at 10:43 AM |

Monday, May 10, 2004 

how my stepmom feels about me

My stepmom has a livejournal. She writes about me sometimes. Here's part of a more recent entry.

"Some people [meaning me] are just self-centered, self-absorbed, self-concerned, self-interested, self-involved, selfish, self-serving, callous, coldhearted, hard-boiled, hardhearted, obdurate, stonyhearted, uncompassionate, unemotional, unsympathetic, A BIG PHONY Oh I could go on and on.. She could not tell the truth if it was staring her in the face.. OH no one needs to know.. What ever.. LIAR!!"

Well, fuck her. I try to get along with her and it gets me nowhere. If she wasn't such a judgemental manipulative controlling bitch, I might be home more often and actually talk to her. If all these things are true than she must be far more insightful than the rest of the world, because as far as I know everyone who knows both sides thinks she's the bad one.

Whatever. I've only got a couple weeks before I'm outta there.

Posted by Rachel at 1:07 PM |

Friday, May 07, 2004 

Prom tonight. Woooo. Hehe, Kurtis is going to look pretty in his top hat and coat tails though - who knows, he may look better than me. I still didn't tell my stepmom about my new dress, but she hasn't said a word about the other one so maybe she already knows? Eh, who cares.

I'm here at school and I'm one of the only ones. I'm seriously surprised that they haven't just called it off and sent everyone home. At least half of the high school student body is gone and so far everyone who came that I've talked to is planning on leaving by lunchtime. Except me.

Posted by Rachel at 10:36 AM |

Wednesday, May 05, 2004 

I heard this thing on the radio this morning about the safest and most dangerous states in America in relation to crime rates. Michigan is in the top 10 most dangerous states...I would have never guessed. Nevada was number one...darn that Las Vegas, eh? The safest state was North Dakota, followed by like New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine (I think it was) and South Dakota.

Heh, and 2 of the most dangerous cities in the US (with a population of 75,000 or more) are right here in old MI. Can you guess which two they were?...

Chicago and New York City weren't even among the top 10. So ha ha, mom. Maybe New York isn't such a scary place after all.

'Course, Las Vegas wasn't there either. Is Nevada hiding something?

Posted by Rachel at 2:44 PM |

Monday, May 03, 2004 

Prom is Friday. Ironically I'm dreading it a little, because I don't know how everything is going to work out. I have yet to tell my parents about my new prom dress (my stepmom and dad, I mean) nor have I worked out any plans for the day with them. Rox said before that I'm not allowed to miss any school, but getting up at 6am, going to school for a full day, then having 3 hours to get ready to stay out all night seems next to impossible. I'm praying that they decide to give us a half day at the last minute, but from where I'm sitting, it looks like I'll have no such luck.

I've been spending a lot of time at Kurtis's house lately - maybe too much. It's a wonder we don't get sick of eachother, or that his family doesn't get sick of having me around and feeding me all the time. Lol his dad called me a pain, but I didn't take him too seriously because he was slightly inebriated at the time.

I'd rather not be home at all though. I feel bad, because all I really do when I am home is sleep, eat, use the bathroom, and ask my dad if I can stay out later the next night. He doesn't seem to care too much, but it bothers my stepmom and so she's not exactly hospitable about it. She told me the other morning that I'm "a phony" and it really bothered me, because while I might be a lot of things, that's one thing I try hard not to be. She should have to live with herself and see what it's like. The things she says and does to me are so petty that they're not even worth the words to describe them to you (for example, she gets pissy because I make it out to Kurtis's car faster than I ever made it to her truck after school - not bothering to take into consideration the fact that she parks at the opposite end from where my locker is). Nevertheless, these things start to grind away at a person after awhile. She's very good at making a person feel like shit, which is probably her motive anyway.

Posted by Rachel at 10:55 AM |